His cousin had chimpanzee-laughed right in

His cousin had chimpanzee-laughed right in his face. Well that wasn't going to stop him from inventing a perpetual motion machine. People had laughed at Einstein when he

road a bicycle and grew all that long hair. A perpetual motion machine was no sillier than either of those, let alone all of that relativity nonsense. Cousins be damned! Vision is

just a way of misspelling venison. When would his dear meet deer meat one-on-one? She had never sampled gamey meat before. Well, except for that time when

her Dad discovered the delights of a freshly shorn scrotum and made the entire family gather in the living room to marvel at his handiwork. That was the first time she ever dialed

411, asking if there were a list of other Fathers available. She was connected to Dial-a-Priest, which was how she met her future husband, who left the church six months later for

a stint at the Las Vegas House of Blues. She loved her husband's ecclesiastical rendition of "Preacher Man." But his career hit bottom when, Reverend Sweetthroat

performed a musical version of Jim Carrey's "Liar Liar," to his obviously non-plussed congregation. While many seemed to try to appreciate the message, Sweetthroat's imagining of

ghost's flying around seem'd like an eerie. However, it was. Apparently they were Tails Doll ghosts. One was coming at me. I died...Oh wait, i then was at an hospital with TD.

Though not as dangerous as TB, TD was an insidious, wasting disease that would turn me into a sponge only able to speak in apostrophes. My only hope for a cure was