I'm done typing folds that are "like" bait.

I'm done typing folds that are "like" bait. You're too smart for that, you god(dess) you. Mmm I wanna paint a keyboard on you and show you all the shortcuts. Would you "like" that?

You "like" having your buttons pushed, I know it. Just "like" how, in second year, I said I hated your new haircut. I actually did "like" it, but then you had to go and

. I felt social pressure to "like" it because if I didn't, then my friends wouldn't "like" what I posted on FB & man, I definitely wouldn't "like" that. Yeah, it's like that

time that we went to the cafe and they all ordered coffee. I didn't like coffee, but I ordered it too because I wanted to act grown up. It tasted like the blood of unicorns and

contained bits that, if I'm not very much mistaken, were actual unicorn shit. But I drank it all up gagging a little. The waiter rushed over. "That coffee, you didn't drink it?

I wiped the brown residue from my chin with the tablecloth and burped delicately. A shimmering cloud of woodland spirits emanated forth. "God, my breath smells like unicorn shit"

I looked back down at what was left on my plate. Apparently it wasn't filet mignon.The woodland spirits' laughter sounded like tinking bells. A horn sprung from my forehead. Rainbo

w Brite is a fraud, but we all knew that. I hung my toothbrush from the horn in my forehead to let the woodland spirit know that I had fresh breath.

Then I'd strike my best deer smile and politely say, "I see you admire my noble bearing." Aw yeah. I'm gonna charm the pants off the woodland spirits. Then get their recipes.