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I put on my mask. I took a deep breath. I

  • I put on my mask. I took a deep breath. I threw my body into the door and it flew open. With all my courage, I stepped

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  • onto an albino midget. He was mad; the ensuing round-house kicked to my jejunum made me vomit. My vomit landed on

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  • Mike Tyson, and he looked pissed. So I ran as fast as I could, but tripped suddenly on what must have been a

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  • body. There was no other explanation for the dull thud. I went ass over teakettle, falling through space like a drunken

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  • ninja in a white room. I came to rest against a pair of smelly flip-flops attached to some of the most horrid

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  • , mangled toes and feet. It wasn't the blow, it was the recovery that made me cringe.

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  • You could see the lack of confidence in his eyes. There was an overwhelming sense of embarrassment as we watched the

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  • porn starring his parents. The age old question of whether you would rather watch porn WITH your parents or STARRING

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  • them was enough to drive anyone batty! I wasn't sure if I wanted to gouge my eyes out or

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  • do the hula. God, what would become of the world now? I guess we may never know.

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