He buried his nose into her hairy armpit

He buried his nose into her hairy armpit and snuffled up the pheremones. European-style mating rituals were growing on him. Especially since it meant he never had to wash ever agai

n. "They're just regular bio-molecules" he told himself sternly, suppressing his gagging reflex as he drew accumulated years of sweat secretions and sebaceous matter up his nasal

But after a while, it started feeling good. He forgot all about looking for food. "A little to the left please," he murmmured contentedly, shifting his body so that his nostrils

looked more even then they were. He was such a snob, especially at Buffets. He never went near any pea salads, strictly seafood and beef. She only went with him because

they had endless soup and salad. They entered the establishment, cognizant of the age discount. "So, two adults?" The hostess asked. "I'm five." She said. "Me too." He added.

"Ah, I don't believe that is correct," the hostess said, eyeing the two warily. "No, no, trust us. Both of us are five," he insisted, folding his arms and glaring at the hostess.

His wife touched his arm. He said, "Now we are six. Please also serve the egg roll." The waitress returned with the head chef. The couple demanded the family dinner special as adv

ertised. "Fine," the head chef conceded,winking conspiriatorally at the waitress, & went back to the kitchen. He cooked up something special for them...right off the kitchen floor.

Minutes later, the waitress delivered the platter to the unsuspecting customer. She lifted the cover, to reveal a dead rat. The customer eyed it, then shrugged and scarfed it down.