I got detention for calling my teacher a

I got detention for calling my teacher a bumhole. I thought it was clever, he disagreed. The thing about detention is that you get to learn all these neat tricks from the bad kids.

For instance, in detention I learned from this bad kid how to turn the "3" in someone's pay stub into an "8" and get them a loan they couldn't pay for and then foreclose on them

, an idea which came in handy later in life, when I became a rich banker. But my fortune turned for the worse when I foreclosed on a budget retirement home for the elderly.

that was haunted by former elderly. They would always cause trouble when the old people were eating their morning pancakes. Carts would move. Butter and syrup would become scarce

only to show up in the depends. These former elder ghost's were in short, a pain in the ass and refused to pass on to the light. The center had to stop them from sharing their

wartime stories with the still living. And so they came up with a plan, bring these geriatric spectres some nice

cushions and warm milk, because nothing goes better with machine guns than

washed up musicians, angry at their concept of whatever "higher power" they think did them wrong. Actually,

they were completely right, there was a God above whom I'd met in my travels who was out to get each and every one of those losers personally.