I was at the New Year's Eve concert in Times

I was at the New Year's Eve concert in Times Square when it happened. King of Rock n Roll Chuck Berry was singing "Roll over Beethoven" when Ludwig himself appeared on stage.

Behind CHuck Berry and Ludwig was Ghengis Khan who was sharing a wine cooler with a guy in a trenchcoat named "Rufus." They were in a phone booth

literally bumping elbows with one another. When Ghengis Khan became upset with his wine cooler, Ludwig remarked to Rufus that the mongol was essentially "Hobo Hitler". Chuck Berry

was hermaphroditically fathered by Frankenberry. And Leo DiCaprio? Don't even get me started!" I gave the bum a dollar, and he washed my windshield with filthy water. As I drove

Home, I almost had an accident with a wraith, who drove a Zombie car. I sneezed so loud he woke up.he wad not pleased, to say the least. The policeman ticketed him, not me!

Why did he have to be so angry at me, then!? I groaned as I remembered it. I ran away so fast that day, that I immediately collapsed on my bed and slept for a full day afterwards.

I awoke with a start, realizing that today had been the last day of my life and that there was only four minutes of it left. I decided to forgive him for his anger and to make the

best of the 3 minutes and 49 seconds I had left of my life. "Come here, ya big lug!" I gave him a noogie and he sighed. It was a remorseful sigh. I contemplated his sigh for 7 sec

With the remaining 42 seconds, I was able to watch my 7 most beloved Vines. Then, I died, content and at peace.