The delivery had been late and the package

The delivery had been late and the package beaten up intentionally. When you write "Fragile" on something, it's an invitation for destruction, but this package was spared by a

stroke of shear luck. I took the damaged package, a trail of packing peanut trailing behind me as I walked from the mailbox back to the double-wide trailer. The contents were

Glazed pork cracklins made by a band of Eskimos who lived in Florida and were related to Hemmingway. The weird thing is that they still prefer to live in Igloos, so they

just sit in water -- the idiots -- eating pork cracklins. That reminds me of my Cousin Priscilla who

grew up in the hills of the Smoky Mountains and was a beautiful woman now. She'd loved those as a kid. Priscilla was a nurse and as far as she was concerned, life outside of

the penitentiary was unsatisfying. "It is time for a change," she said. Reaching for the package of cheese she had stashed under the passenger side seat of his pick up truck she

made a grilled cheese sandwich on the overheated manifold, popped the top on a warm Coors Lite and setttled in for a serous think. Halfway throgh the beer, she remembered

to flip the sandwich. Too late. One side was burned black. Another lousy day in Death Valley. Reluctantly, she went back to her lunch standby, and fried an egg on the tarmac.

pose for the latest issue of his magazine, but in the end she got rejected (wrong hair color & not enough plastic surgeries). Apparently, some girl "Barbie" got the job instead.