Once, Cthulu was speeding down the dusty

Once, Cthulu was speeding down the dusty road of the Sahara Desert in his jeep with his best nud, spiky haired Black dude. SHBD challenged him to a retard battle, so he

pulled over and called Yog Soggoth on his sat-phone. He said only "Rock and roll time, dude!" and hung up. Hordes of lizard men popped into existence. Cthulu screamed "It's on!" We

all gathered around Cthulu's telly to watch the American Idol Season Six Reunion Concert. Cthulu was a closet fan of Sanjaya Malakar, and the lizard men loved F-150 commercials.

"Ssssh! Sanjaya Malaker is about to perform the Theme From Titanic" Cthulu click-whistled, the lizard men flexing their neck flaps in appreciation. Cthulu loved showtunes, it was

his undoing in the end. Lieutenant colonel John Dykeson had infiltrated the dance team and when Sanjaya went falsetto, John pulled out a phaser and shot Cthulu right in the

face. The audience had gone wild for John. John threw the empty phaser cartridges on the ground. The dance team was no more and just when all threats seemed neutral Skywalker

let go and trusted his feelings. The lightsaber rattled in the ice. The monster returned. The lightsaber leaped into Skywalker's hand and he severed the arm of Sully. The blue

dog wondered what had happened to Steve's arm. When she had seen what Skywalker had done, she began to transform into a were-Blue. Children around the world began to scream at the

horrifying image on their TV screens: a giant blue wolf dog with razor sharp teeth sinking into innocent bystanders and whatever else got in her way. The children clung to their