57

He'd opened the netflix envelop in excitement.

  • He'd opened the netflix envelop in excitement. After four weeks of staring that movie sleeve, he mailed it back without even watching the movie because
  • it wasn't blu-ray. This time he was prepared, though. The would be the greatest Netflix experience ever. He had his disk, his popcorn, and his blanket. All he needed was
  • an adapter to convert his VHS player shaped like a Corvette Sting Ray to Netflix CD format. The 7/11 on the corner should have one. twice he had
  • gone there before and left empty-handed, so upon reflection could not pin down the reasoning that led him to attempt a third time. But he desperately loved worthless technology.
  • Desperately, he carved an iPhone out of bar of soap. He got on the bus and pretended to play "Angry Birds." He nudged another passenger. "Oh, those pigs! Heh-Heh!" A bit of string
  • then floated down to his soap phone. He tied the end securely around the phone, testing the strength of the knot. His new weapon would prove useful at the next
  • intersection. It had one-way traffic because of construction. "Perfect." He threw the phone at a worker holding a stop sign, knocking him unconscious. "It's my way on the highway
  • !" he shouted. With that, he drove right into the oncoming traffic and hit a little old lady in a little red car head on. She was wearing her seat belt, but he went flying through
  • the air, and fortunately, the little old lady was driving a convertible with the top down, having just gone to Costco. He landed on 67 unopened packs of Depends in the back seat
  • The fluffy landing was further cushioned by her affectionate welcome "What took you so long God?" She took him home to meet her supercentenarian parents.
Started
2011-03-02 18:37:11
Finished
2011-09-07 02:52:50

4 Comments

  1. Avatar

    buddyboy4711 Sep 07 2011 @ 16:31

    I'd figured that "intersection" would be a random twist, but apparently we were already on the bus. Coolio!
  2. Avatar

    m80 Sep 07 2011 @ 23:05

    Sweet little ending!
  3. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Sep 08 2011 @ 03:15

    Thanks! I thought, "Now why does she need so many Depends...?"
  4. Avatar

    sundancer Sep 08 2011 @ 18:28

    Yes buddyboy! He got on the public bus and then took over and began driving it! Haha.

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!