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Attention mere humans: I-The Supreme Fuzzy

  • Attention mere humans: I-The Supreme Fuzzy Overlord-command all human world leaders to report immediately to the nearest cat food processing facility to await further instructions.

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  • From there, we the Supreme Fuzzy Cat Overlords shall

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  • drink pumpkin spice lattes and devise a plan to climb the Great Firewall and breach into China.

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  • Little known to the schemers, Starbucks was infiltrated by Chinese thought police and their pumpkin spice lattes contained

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  • pure unfiltered Chinese patriotism. Soon, communism would spread to all the Starbuckses in the world! Only Costa patrons and the relatively impoverished would be safe.

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  • However, the organization that is Starbucks is a limited one, and only so many seats could hold so many people. Soon, the communists began spilling into the streets and began their

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  • Coffee revolution.su Coffee was the millennials' beverage of choice among those who had money for it. Those who didn't drank tea and reused the bags. Coke sales plummeted.

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  • There were many street names for coffee, some of which included"the bean"and"the power drink".Some names were ironic, like "sleep tight"and"rest well".Lives were destroyed because

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  • of the hold that coffee had over the populace. Children were exposed younger and younger, drinking to reach a state of constant alertness as the jittery world watched in silence,

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  • but as their bodies shook with greater vigor with each passing generation, the world began to lose sight of what was important: to experience life, and to be glad you're awake.

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