...a combination shredder alarm clock. Just

...a combination shredder alarm clock. Just place place a high-denomination currency in the top and set the alarm. If one doesn't awake, the blades will

rip your cash into confetti. "It's actually a quite an effective method," the psychologist said, scratching her head. I blinked. "I would go broke," I laughed nervously while I

copied her head-scratching movement. It occurred then to my psychologist that if I took her advice, it would be unlikely that I could pay her. "Let's try something else. Next time,

pay for 10 sessions in advance - I have a lot of equipment to buy." At the next session my psychologist gave me an enormous dragon puppet - she had the Rapunzel puppet. We role-pla

yed. My therapist was Rapunzel and I was the dragon. Being the dragon gave me a sense of power. It was like a fire snake coiling up my chest. When my therapist asked, "How did

I had a fire in my belly. Ancient and unyielding. How was I to know that I would find myself. Sitting here. With her and dreaming of each and every potential.

Then the driverless car we were in sprouted wings and began to fly. The pilot was Mr. Roboto and Kilroy was monitoring the radar for unidentified flying robot taxis. This was

Totally an outrage. My contract with them had stated quite clearly that my path be completely terrestrial; at no point was the car to leave the ground. Roboto & Killroy just shrugg

-ed as we entered the stratosphere. "This is the last time I go on a joyride with you two clowns!" I screamed as my flappy mouth parts mashed against my face. And I was right.