He was dressed in drag, had 8 neck tattoos

He was dressed in drag, had 8 neck tattoos and was purchasing 3 peaches, a large bottle of Popov, 2 boxes of Summer's Eve, some Cracker Jack, and a rolling pin. I said "Welcome to

Alabama, lovely dress you're wearing." He smiled and placed his purchases on the counter. Curious about his plans I kept talking "Popov, fine choice, cool neck tats by the way."

"Thanks, man, I did them myself w/ this kit I bought from Ebay, the infection only lasted a few days, but the kit also has some antibiotics in there just in case." DIY tattoos, may

sound like a good idea, but apparently Social Services were not too thrilled with the DIY "BITCH" tattoo I made on my 5 year old's forehead. But come on, she was never going to

Be the chorus girl I had always aspired to be. Plus, it was just henna!!! "How's it any different from Halloween?" I asked the social worker through my nicest set of vampire teeth.

The social worker rolled her eyes and blew smoke in my face, "Vampire, huh? Big whoop. Shut up and fill out these forms. Do you have skills?"

Of course I had already filled out the forms before she blinked. "Well, I am fluent in Romance tongues and have no fear of heights, or death for that matter." I liked her - a rebel

of sorts, just like me. I handed her the forms & blinked twice back at her, the unspoken universal signal among rebels. She understood the code immediately. We linked arms and jump

ed into the swirling vortex that had appeared before us. This time we would escape with a gold diamond encrusted Lollypop but next time

we visited the tooth decay fairy's cavernous halls, we'd take home the holy grail, the necklace made with Prince Harry's baby teeth. The thing would be worth a fortune on Ebay.