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It's always the dude with the monster schlong

  • It's always the dude with the monster schlong that wants to hit the nudie beach. But I guess that's how the world works; play to your strengths. So the seven of us ended up on a

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  • pier wrapped in all the clothes we'd brought staring at massive grey waves smashing into a rocky beach. A British beach holiday is character building, but us 7 didn't need a charac

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  • ter, no us 7 needed some warmer clothes. British beach holiday is like skinny dipping in Siberia, and that's including the food. But the locals stole our clothes so we were nude

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  • but proud. The 7 of us contacted the British prime minister, to ask him to return our clothes, but he was a greedy one. He politely said no and told us to enjoy our British holiday

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  • in our birthday suits. The Prime Minister wrote it in cursive. At first we were outraged. Then Sven pointed out that we now had carte blanche to explore London in the nude.

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  • It was the best way to clear out pedestrians so Sven and I could investigate the mysterious Roman numerals cropping up and down the West End. "Not another fucking kitsch play," was

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  • playing at the Royal Theatre, so Sven and I decided to take a break from the mystery of the floating Roman Numerals so that we could snark at the play's overly self-conscious plot.

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  • Not that there were really any redeeming qualities about this play at all. In fact, it sucked so much that the floating Roman numerals were the highlight of the show. That was when

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  • the quiet new girl actually was magical! Then her crush asked her out, but he was a jerk! So cliche. And can't the crush be a girl? Show some diversity. Honestly I

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  • don't even know where I was going with this. Anyway, Jakie wanted to know if she could have the boot disc back. You should give it back if you are done with it. She loves hacking.

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