39

"Captain, the Romulans have hacked our Kappabashi

  • "Captain, the Romulans have hacked our Kappabashi training program as well as our food replicators." Ensign Sanjo Weems was sweating. He was still entirely organic. Plastic food

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  • was all well and good when in shop windows in Asakusa, but at the far reaches of the Alpha Quadrant one required something a bit more edible. Sanjo quietly cursed the Romulans, and

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  • ate his chitin soup. Damned Romulans couldn't even cook properly, yet they had the gall to invade half the cosmos? Enough is enough, Sanjo decided. If someone would conquer the

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  • know universe, they better have good cuisine.

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  • know universe, they better have good cuisine.

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  • I never found out if there was good cuisine, because they ate me. Without seasoning! Which I found to be in poor taste, as did they. The universe continued to expand.

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  • At a certain point the other universes started to notice how much it was expanding. They felt crowded in.The universe shrugged the ugly looks off & swallowed another black hole. I

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  • -t then let out a cosmic burp, which gave birth to two stars and a small planet. The planet rotated around the two stars for a couple of eons until life appeared in the form of a

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  • buxom redhead named Roxanne. Soon, males from all over the Universe™, came a courting on Roxanne. Unfortunately, for the next five thousand years, Roxanne either ate or dismembered

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  • each and every lusty lothario who dared cross her path. Roxanne laughed to herself while licking the last of mankind from her fingertips. Smiling, she burped and fell asleep.

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6 Comments

  1. Woab May 28 2020 @ 14:57

    Great last line, VGrrl! And Tweedl's killed me and had me for dessert.

  2. BlastedHeath May 29 2020 @ 00:49

    If we have reached the point where universes are expansion-shaming each other, I think we need to have a talk.

  3. LordVacuity May 29 2020 @ 04:09

    Well if we’re going there I might as pipe in about that one universe’s wormhole condition. I mean just cut back on the tachyons dude.

  4. Jimbeau May 29 2020 @ 08:26

    Woab, I always took you for a slice of Tiramisu. I was right!

  5. Woab May 29 2020 @ 16:24

    Real tiramisu or plastic tiramisu?

  6. Jimbeau May 31 2020 @ 01:38

    Oh, Woab, there isn't anything plastic about you; you are the Real Deal...and a damn good writer, too!

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