"Captain, the Romulans have hacked our Kappabashi

"Captain, the Romulans have hacked our Kappabashi training program as well as our food replicators." Ensign Sanjo Weems was sweating. He was still entirely organic. Plastic food

ate his chitin soup. Damned Romulans couldn't even cook properly, yet they had the gall to invade half the cosmos? Enough is enough, Sanjo decided. If someone would conquer the

know universe, they better have good cuisine.

know universe, they better have good cuisine.

I never found out if there was good cuisine, because they ate me. Without seasoning! Which I found to be in poor taste, as did they. The universe continued to expand.

At a certain point the other universes started to notice how much it was expanding. They felt crowded in.The universe shrugged the ugly looks off & swallowed another black hole. I

-t then let out a cosmic burp, which gave birth to two stars and a small planet. The planet rotated around the two stars for a couple of eons until life appeared in the form of a

buxom redhead named Roxanne. Soon, males from all over the Universe™, came a courting on Roxanne. Unfortunately, for the next five thousand years, Roxanne either ate or dismembered

each and every lusty lothario who dared cross her path. Roxanne laughed to herself while licking the last of mankind from her fingertips. Smiling, she burped and fell asleep.