Sneezing again. This head cold just would

Sneezing again. This head cold just would NOT go away. But maybe, just maybe I can find some kobold minions that aren't TOO stupid, to search out ingredients to a legendary remedy

that some archaeologist found scrawled in excrement on the walls of an ancient tomb. Legend had it this remedy would cure any ailment. My minions returned with the ingredients:

Bat guano, mammoth placenta, urine, Ugba root, spit, dodo yolk, piece of Tharg's fungus,

All Bob wanted was a simple recipe for Poontang Punch; he scanned over the items: urine, bat guano, and spit were easy to get, but dodo yolk, mammoth placenta, and Tharg's fungus?

"Well," he thought aloud to himself, "Maybe I can ask the Gnarled Witch if she knows where I can get some mammoth placenta."

"No one fucking cares about yer goddamn mammoth placenta!" yelled an irrationally angry tree, who had had quite enough of this man trampling his roots looking for the Gnarled Witch

of Siberia. The tree started throwing apples at the scientist, even though it was an orange tree. His therapist had told him that stress made him lose his oranges, which is why he

have another glass of fresh-squeezed juice again, at least until he bought or grew more oranges. He searched for something to hold them and found a large wooden crate. Perfect!

That's when it happened. I won't go into details, but suffice to say there was nothing left but a bit of pulp on the road. It was lovely while it lasted.