Sweltering, suffo ating, slimy suffering.

  • Sweltering, suffo ating, slimy suffering. Melting and roasting and charring every scrap of my dying energy and drips, MOLTEN HOT floods the corners of my eyes, ferociously fucked

  • which is why I wear goggles while chopping jalapenos. Don't get me started about the raw onions! My skin becomes raging, blistering, (cook me I'm done) grizzled pieces of leather.

  • That's why I wear a positive pressure biosafety containment suit when chopping onions. I use waldo robotic arms in a containment facility for chopping chilies. My "Inferno chili"

  • helmet is comprised of a dual fan and three catalytic converters. When I cut chicken I send remote instructions to a satellite that controls a laser knife in an underground

  • micro-ginzu RDNA lab, controlling genetic Scrabble ops at the molecular level. I'm sure that even a sports commentator like Fukui-san would truly appreciate my knife-work, even

  • if I accidentally killed someone during it. It makes me wonder what

  • the fat lady goes through every night when she hits the glass breaking note. Will they know I secretly enjoy watching them

  • unlike the bored, pretentious nobility who only show up to snore at the crooning of obese prima donnas? Oh, how I worship the fat lady & her singing. It's more than that. I hate

  • skinnies & dream about making sweet love with La Diva bouncy castle style & getting her to hit top G in ecstasy. I snuck into Tosca in camo & infiltrated my way back stag

  • e, wearing my infrared opera glasses so I could find La Diva in the darkness. But alas, I discovered her affair with the stage manager! Heartbroken, I threw myself over a cliff...



  1. BlastedHeath Mar 13 2014 @ 20:35

    I like that kind of silly ending that the narrator could not have written ;-)

  2. PurpleProf Mar 13 2014 @ 22:16

    Ahhh...that's true, BlastedHeath! That didn't occur to me...

  3. BlastedHeath Mar 13 2014 @ 22:24

    I thought it must have, and you were being all witty and stuff! ;-)

  4. PurpleProf Mar 14 2014 @ 19:04

    Me? Witty? Naaaahhhh...

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!