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The tissues piled up on the table. The flu

  • The tissues piled up on the table. The flu hadn't reached it's plateau yet but I couldn't stop to rest so I knew it would just get worse. I had a deadline and health be damned.

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  • Then my wife walked into the office, seeing the large pile of spent tissues next to my computer monitor and jumped to the wrong conclusion. She looked at me with a mix of disgust &

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  • remorse and said, "The Whooping cough?" Then she pulled out her toenail clippers and mixed creamer in my Pom juice. She said, "I though I commanded you to never be ill." Then her

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  • creamed toenail clippers told the crazy bitch, "Bitch, shut up." And the woman died and the toenail clippers were silenced as toenail clippers don't speak. Later the Pom juice

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  • turned an ugly shade of green and burnt its way through the glass and set the table alight. Who knew that much vitamin C could be so dangerous? Toenails that long

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  • could look very good if they were put into the shelf as decoration. I would get so many admirers. People would

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  • worship me forever and ever, they would be my subjects and I would be their idol. I would make them

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  • eat cake. Chocolate, vanilla, ice-cream, strawberry--any kind of cake would be legal under my rule! But, nevertheless, rebels sought to overthrow me and my kingdom and replace it

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  • but Cowboy TV stopped them! Yay! He then

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  • turned off the set, adjusted his bustier and selected shoes. The Du Pont Circle annual Trannies versus Dragqueens relay was in just 30 minutes, and he was feeling extra racy.

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