He let slip a few of the grenades. Just

He let slip a few of the grenades. Just enough that it would send a lesson to anyone who followed. His mother, however, wouldn't be around to teach it to his brothers who followed

the teachings of Wayne Dyer. That was because his mother was leaving on a trip. She was going to the Congo with her friend Wilma. They were bringing cash because

everyone knew you could trade hard, cold American moolah for the bright, shiny diamonds of the Congo river basin. That was Mom for you: always looking on the bright side. He sighed

as he handed the trader $1,000,000 in cash for the blood diamonds. Naomi Campbell then through her iPod at the man because he had not opened the car door first for her.

But there is small justice in the world, and Ms. Campbell broke her heel making the swing. She fell into the gutter as paparazzi snapped. The headline in the morning read

"Cum Guzzling Road Whore Caught in Natural Environment" - She sued for defamation, false light and all kinds of other legal mumbo-jumbo the lawyers could make up. How could she

have suggested that title in the first place? She had thought her comments were "off the record". How could she have let them trick her like that? Well, now they would pay

sticking out of her jalapeno pepper: a thumbnail, not hers. She lifted the pepper with disgust and her fork: the weight suggested the rest of the thumb was embedded in the pepper.

"Well this sticks the final nail in the coffin of their business," she quipped. "'Better ingredients, better pizza' my ass."