"It doesn't matter what you eat as long as

"It doesn't matter what you eat as long as you eat something," she said as she pumped more nacho cheese into a bowl and ate it with her fingers. She was an amateur dietician and

stunt gourmet. The colouring of the nacho cheese she ate nicotine stained her fingers and teeth. Portia's glowing teeth mesmerised me & I missed my mouth and put a chip in my ear.

The little girl named Aurielle who lives inside my ear sure enjoyed it. It was not often she got treated to nachos. The crunching sounds were defeaning & Portia wondered why I kept

licking my fingers. "Because, I want to make sure I get all the nacho flavors, ok? Is that ok with you?" Portia crossed her arms, shook her head, "The little girl in your ear will

self-destruct in 15 seconds," she warned coldly. I gave my thumb a final lick, but the nacho flavoring was exhausted. I tempted fate. "You're a liar." Portia stuck her tongue out

as if to rub it in my face that she had eaten all the Doritos. "You're gonna laugh when I say this, but it's true. Portia, that was the last bag." "None left for you," she sneered

There was no way in hell that they were going to afford to shoot it again. The elephants had already skied through the legs of Lady Liberty and she was due back on Ellis Island.

Her family was there , including Uncle Ernie, Cousin Rabbitt and Cousin Itt. The latter two were deaf mutants who were otherwise literate and read one book each day since 1999.

It's lucky for them that they were deaf, since Uncle Ernie would play his Wurlitzer organ day and night with his feet. The rest of the family had to use earplugs.