Once upon a time, Sailor Moon came down and

Once upon a time, Sailor Moon came down and saved the

rest of the pastrami sandwich for a later date. Being an anime star for tween girls, no one had time to sit for a decent kosher deli nosh. Sailor Moon missed dill pickles.

Sailor Moon, or "Moishe" as she was known before getting famous, longed for the old country. She was a dual citizen in Japan and Israel. Hell, she'd even been in the army. Now she

was extremely confused about her identity. Was she Japanese? She felt so when she was in Israel. But in Japan she felt like an Israelite. Kung fu mixed with krav maga sure made her

a prime candidate for any Tarantino movie. To add to her identity crisis, her invisible boyfriend was begging her to get a boob job for him. Annoyed, she kung-fu kicked his ass.

He liked it rough, though, and his admiration for her grew, despite her flat-chestedness and insecurities. He decided he would ask her to marry him and maybe this time she'd kick

the habit of putting the waterballoons down her shirt to overcome her flat-chestedness. He pulled out the "Lord of the Rings" ring he's had since the 7th grade and popped the quest

"I think Godzilla." She didn't even hear the answer as she was too distracted by the water. Tears ran down her face and she could feel a tantrum about to come over her. It was

a brill one, too. She upended the go-kart, tossed out the baby seat & hurled old taco wrappers at everyone. Things got soggy as Gojira's footprint showered the city in salty sea.