The Australian Exchange student had an ass.

The Australian Exchange student had an ass. The host family refused to allow it in their apartment. It had never occurred to her that they might not allow her ass in the apartment.

The exchange student stood outside the apartment and yelled at her host family, who were barricaded inside. “Let me get this straight…I’M allowed into your home, but my ASS isn’t?”

"We only said that your smart ass remarks were not welcome." her host family replied through the door.

She now was ashamed and felt stupid to hide a chest of beautiful flowers and apples to gift to them. Somehow, she felt not welcome too.

She clambered off the roof of the car and quickly darted into the bushes just as the porchlight snapped on. The door opened. She could see her dad in his underwear fumbling with

several seemingly empty cereal boxes. She briefly pondered what her dad might be doing, but ultimately focused her attention on finding a way to sneak into the house; there was

no apparent doorways, despite her circumnavigating the premises twice. It was quite a curious house. Finding an appropriately-sized rock, she hurled it through the nearest window.

The window was open, of course, so the rock just sailed right on through with nary a whoosh, and landed somewhere inside with nary a thump. She peered through the curious window,

and spied a pie on the table. She vaulted the ledge and scooped a piece into her mouth. Berries...and nuts. She clutched her stomach in horror, already seized with allergic spasms.