I think it's the most natural thing in the

  • I think it's the most natural thing in the world to make fun of stuff because things are really stupid. And so if you happen to be a writer and you think a lot of things are stupid

  • . Stupid is as stupid does, however. But only really REALLY stupid writers would say this, as we all have fairly large egos here in FoldingStory. It's just so easy to make fun of

  • Forest Gump because he's slow and dances like he's being hit with a tennis racquet. But then Forest Gump got real rich and all my jokes at his expense lost their thunder.

  • So I employed new tactics. I dumped ball bearings and glass shards on the high school football field Forrest Gump cut for free. The jokes still worked on Lt. Dan, that skinny-leg

  • humping SOB. So we renamed the dog Atrophy and hit the road with our ragtag somewhat minstrel show. Some wag called it that and it stuck but another wag came along and freed it.

  • Our traveling minstrel show went south when Atrophy was slapped with a lawsuit from a dozen different mothers for his bastard puppies. Only in the Midwest, am I right, folks? Still

  • waters run deep, and Atrophy the Petrified Dog was as still as they come, so to speak. Audiences throughout the midwest thrilled at his stillness. His progeny however, ran through

  • muck and mire like hell-fiends, stopping for nobody or nothing. When looking back at their father, a mangy old mutt, forever frozen under the tree, they woof'd in unison to

  • attract other male dogs. Twelve showed up. Circling the frozen mangy mutt, they lifted their legs and pissed on the iced dog to thaw him. They thought they would be successful when

  • the ice around his snout melted, and the “Papillon la glace” exhaled and growled and let out a YELP! But, regrettably, Godzilla heard the howling and stomped the dog to death.



  1. PurpleProf Jun 04 2019 @ 12:38

    For the record, I think Mr. SlimWhitman is brilliant!

  2. PurpleProf Jun 04 2019 @ 12:47

    OH, an another interesting fact... My office is really, truly located in the "Gump Medical Center" pictured here. Many of the scenes from Forrest Gump were filmed here in Beaufort, SC, where I teach. My office window is right there on the second floor, right above the ambulance pictured in this shot (scroll down and see Location # 18). Y'all come visit me anytime and I'll show you around our pretty little town.

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