then there was light.... and animals and

then there was light.... and animals and trees and kumquats and coupons for futons and swizzle sticks and the Canadian Brass and huge amounts of matter just sitting there. "Huh,"

My jaw went slack. "I thought there was no beginning? What about imaginary time & oblate space-time histories?" Hawking was full of surprises. He replied, "I had a near death

experience once. My nurse left my wheelchair at the top of a flight of stairs. Brakes weren't applied and, well, gravity did the rest. Do you know what happened when I hit bottom?"

He needed to analyze this question. The answer was so obvious but-SMACK! The wheelchair bound man slapped the doctor in the face. "I was injured!" The doctor had no memory so

Harriet, the therapist, started a scavenger hunt so the elderly would stay active. Wheelchairs traded paint in pursuit of hidden dentures. The grand prize at the top of the stairs

was a new titanium hip, the kind that would get anyone out of a wheelchair. It stood there, shiny, seductive, yet cold and hard. So how could Harriet have foreseen the consequences

of installing the new titanium hip into Granny Smith? How could Harriet know it'd turn best pony into a cybernetic crime fighter? "This is my pimpin' cane now, jacko!" Granny told

her grandchildren, who had been worried about her living alone. No need to worry now. Granny Smith patroled the streets now, just hoping some punk would try something. No one f'ed

Granny since she'd been eating Power Source apple bars (made with 95% cardboard) and working out with McBain at a gym secretly at night. Granny was tougher than Chuck Norris.