"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned," she

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned," she said. But the priest reacted unusually. "Oh, good Lord, Marie, you confessed three hours ago. What could you have done in that time?

Marie had indeed confessed three hours before, but had unexpectedly run into her coke dealer waiting for the bus. She'd given all of her money in tithe, so she had to work off her

debt by answering his emails. His inbox had 8000 unread emails. She wanted to delete them all, but she also wanted to coke. She could snort so long as she answered. She opened one

her buddy Emilio Estevez, who wanted a piece of the action. "ask them if the can hurry up the transfer if we send 2 grand to Nigeria!" Emilio was a shrewd businessman.

He was even prepared to send them his estranged brother Charlie, If they doubled the load. He was sure Charlie would be of invaluable help to the Nigerians, as he was

always getting huge inheritances that required a million dollars to be deposited in a foreign bank first. Charlie didn't have the right papers to travel to Nigeria, but I gave him

an atomic cruise missile and told him to drop THAT on Nigeria. That would end those fucking scams once and for all, until the lazy Argentinians thought up a new locale to launder

money.He liked invoking WMDs to solve problems.His advisors explained Nigeria is the fastest growing world economy & supplied 10% of the US's oil so he just learned to delete spam.

He decided to enter the Oregon wilderness to live a monastic life free of the world sins, but first he had to meet that girl who was chatting with him from Romania, she looked hot.