I was walking through a street. A somewhat

I was walking through a street. A somewhat faint aroma of Sunny Delights was in the air. Strangely, I was strongly attached to the smell.

But let's face it. Every guy in town was attracted to Sunny Delights. When she walked past me, I did an about-face, following her long tan legs & billowing blonde hair, right into

a vajazzle parlour. It was too awkward back out in front of Sunny Delights and that's how my scrotum got encrusted with diamante. Later, in the communal bath after the match,

all of the teammates were bedazzled by the bejeweled family jewels and had to shield their eyes from all that sparkling. It was such a glittering spectacle, that the guys

thought they had been born on Broadway. Glamor poured out of them in huge rainbows where ever they went. That is until they found out about the Bedazzler's dark past. In WWII

Pvt. Vern Pickett's sweetheart sent him a Bedazzler to cheer him up. He prettied his uniform right up with some rhinestones just like a general! The whole G-company joined in &

came running, face purple with rage: "Imbeciles! Whadaya think you're doing! It's Memorial Day! Flag at half mast!" So Pvt. Pickett was lowered-honey, glitter & all-as Major Assh w

As hauled off by the political correctness police. I watched helplessly. Memorial Day was coming up again three years later and a tribute to Major Ash was planned by Major Maple.

Why didn't they just come out and reveal their true feelings for one another like they do every false Thursday but who knows 'cause it's none of my business, eh wot.