It's bad enough the music on the radio is

It's bad enough the music on the radio is playing sucky Pink songs, & now I have to take the monitor to the Apple store bc the cat peed on it, but do we have to play "What # am I

But pi, being my favorite number, always makes me hungry and yearn for chicken pot pies. I had to leave Apple, before they found the cat pee in the monitor, and head to the food

shelter for the homeless where I volunteered to serve chicken pot pies in the evening shift. Whilst at the shelter I received a call from Apple

Seed, Johnny that is. Mr. Seed was cashing in on the promise I'd made him. Yes I was homeless but I was also really damn good at

cookin' up applesauce. I borrowed the pot Johnny Appleseed wore on his head, built a fire over there by the train tracks, threw in some granny smiths, some sugar & my secret ingred

which had been given to me by The Gas Masked Socialite the last time she visited our hobo camp. Pretty soon the applesauce was almost finished and using an old shoe as a ladle, I

scraped out the last of the rancid treat to give to Aunt Claudia, who gulped it down in a trice and stood up to beg for more. "Sorry, old thing, but it's all gone," I said, as she

had me prove there was none left. Now we had space for her pesto. She had made sixteen quart size jars of it and had room for only ten of them. The sauerkraut was suddenly jealous!

Jealousy leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. Learn well young ones: this is the path to the dark side, the very same path that Darth Sauerkraut took.