"Semiotics? Idiotics!" Sarge growled. I

"Semiotics? Idiotics!" Sarge growled. I knew it was going to be a long day. My name is Friday and I carry a badge. I work Dei Watch and it looked like we had a gang of

bangers on the loose. My partner Tuesday and I were on call that morning, so we dropped our Luna bars (cops worry about their figures... shut-up, we totally do!) and hopped into

Merch Vaults. That was the big ticket. The Vaults housed the very latest in Tech Gearware. The stuff Creditors use, not timed-release lesser model shit. But the Vaults were no

match to The Big Vault Cracker. At least, that's what he called himself. Other people called him Slimy Joe, although he never understood how he got that nickname. He got out his

slimy processed cheese and began to smear himself, before affixing his body into the vault doorway. Nopony would dare trespass him, the Big Vault Cracker! The bank could rest easy,

Polly the Parrot wasn't in on the bank job for the money. No, she'd been eyeing off the vault cracker for months now. Marvin the mouse had similar plans for the cheese. She'd have

quite a time trying to get by Morris the cat, however. Unless ... heedless of Morris's cheshire smile, Marvin broke into her best hypnotic belly dance. Morris' smile slackened,

then upon watching Marvin's undulating movements, turned into a snarl. Uh-oh. Marvin heard Morris the cat make a funny noise in his throat. "Here pussy, pussy," Morris growled

and swallowed Marvin in one gulp. He then licked his lips and sauntered over to a sunny place on the couch, purring contentedly.