Hurricand Irene is comming to the eastern

Hurricand Irene is comming to the eastern coast to create havoc, first thing I'd save would be...

The coast, of course. I would save the coast. All of the beaches and dunes. All of the jetties...

I told the Army Core of Engineers that in order to get America on the right track, we had to put coastlines in every state. I wanted to see literally Surfing USA.

But of course, the head engineer at the Corps was already gone surfin down at Waiamea Bay. So I had to take matters into my own hands. First off was creating a Midwest Ocean. I ha

rdly knew the first thing about anything since I majored in Magic the Gathering in highschool. To make an ocean in the Midwest I needed water. I went down to the

I bought up shitloads of salt, poured it into my buckets,then returned to the grocery store and poured the salt water all over the goddamn floor. Pretty soon it was ankle-deep.

It was funny seeing the reactions of employees and shoppers with their ankles in salt water and their groceries floating. Some kids splashed in it. I told them I'd get them back.

Ooooo, it was just one big fun family event! Suddenly, everyone saw the humor in what had happened and began laughing uncontrollably, shoving their shopping carts aside and diving

into the ball pit with grins on their faces, not caring in the slightest about the apocalypse raging around them. At least they were happy the last five seconds of their lives.