it was taking longer than expected. After

with inverted growth. Now everything up close looked extremely far off in the distance. Trying to reach for his girlfriend seemed like he was falling off a cliff. Driving? Forget

trying to touch the steering wheel. It looked miles away. The phenomenon made everyday tasks like eating feel like brain surgery, and going to the bathroom with only two hooks

, let's just say, unpleasant! His only hope was sessions at Double Amputees Anonymous (DAA.) They made his hooks a benifit not a curse. In right circumstances, women would

go weak at the knees looking at his 'golden hooks'. Other than aesthetically, they had their uses in bed too, and more often than not his DAA meetings concluded with a romp at

Ritzy Rico's Clamp Stamp, a rather oddly named gentlemen's club. He'd always order the buffalo wings and show off the golden hooks to his buddies. He suspected they were

a bunch of fakes, but they were always supportive of his efforts. He had trouble finding such a simultaneously uplifting and vacuous source of companionship elsewhere. So he was

content to join the Russian clog team. He and they shared no talent what so ever, but they let him be who he was, and that was enough for Cee-Lo. He quickly tucked in his

hammer pants (there was plenty of room inside) and started tap-dancing in his clogs as hard as he could. Unfortunately, Cee-Lo tapped his way from his Russian clog team onto ice.

A crack formed,bifurcated & spread like forking lighting. Maybe you think I'm crazy,but as the surface broke up everyone sank into the depths. Except Cee-Lo, the last man standing.