I am an aromiologist. Miss your early school

I am an aromiologist. Miss your early school years? I can mix a batch of chalk dust, mimeograph fluid, and slight whiff of industrial cleanser. First love? Cherry Lipsmacker,

you are a Nose that through long, earnest effort and a dash of circumstance, has been promoted to General, and who might someday marshall the lesser noses of Holy Russia to

and then Putin stopped muttering. The head of the state police agency raised his eye brows, "So, if Putin is insane, then who's running Russia?" The door opened and in walked

Grigori Rasputin. He had never really died and had been running Russia in secret all this time. The head of state police was shocked to see him and fell to his knees in praise.

Rasputin farted on the state police head's head. Rasputin spoke in fake Russian, "Ja, ja, strummendrang, ja." Then he dove out a window and activated his parachute pants! He had

planned this strategy and it worked! Soaring high above the gasping cop, Rasputin waved merrily and shouted in his normal voice, "See ya in hell, sucker!" But Rasputin failed to

grasp that though he was complex & with motives shrouded in mystery, Rasputin was nonetheless the villain in this story. And when villains boast of great escapes, especially flying

away in a hovercraft made of toothpicks, faberge eggs, babushka dollars and vodka bottles you should start to question the authenticity of their story. Villains cannot be trusted w

ith the truth. That aforementioned person---all of those beautiful, aforementioned people---they would know. And the truth would have to live with them, though silently.