"Yes sir. Mm hmm. Yes. The human female appears

"Yes sir. Mm hmm. Yes. The human female appears to possess all the physical attributes generally prized by the male of this species. Right. OK. Well, do you want me to

get back to measuring the lemurs? Because, I do that. I forgot my ruler but I borrowed Jerry's from down in accounting so, I could get right on that and

all I needed was for the lemurs to show some small amount of cooperation. But they flung themselves off the edge of my desk every time I got near. I needed some way to tie them

together so that I could make a rope out of them & escape out of my office window. I carefully placed a trail of pineapple across my desk for the lemurs to find while I hid under

what I thought was a magnificent rug but was actually the processed hide of a human centipede. "Gack!" I cried in alarm. "I didn't know these things were real." The I recognized

The handiwork of Mabus Cibffghfti the famous rug designer. He thought of this innovative design by himself or was his son involved? Poor Mabus had bern dead for three years so no

menclature of Mabus's rug designs were no longer necessary. His son finally saw his chance to expand the business. Rugs and Nachos? Rugs and joke gifts? Rugs and Peep Show? Rugs an

-new it. He had himself crowned king of all root vegetables. As he stood on his balcony listening to them root for him, he felt a stab in his great potato head. "I'm forked!" he

cried, and died on the spot. On his tombstone it reads: "Here lies Mr. Potato Head. He led the kingdom for an instant, but he fed the kingdom for a week."