The pomegranate seeds that Hades fed Persephone

The pomegranate seeds that Hades fed Persephone were heavy like lead. They stuck into her throat and she felt them grating slightly every time she swallowed.

1, 2, 3 (gag), 4, 5, 6...that's all Persephone could swallow. "Good enough," said Hades. "Now your mine. Here, put this on." Hades threw a Victoria's Secret bag at her.

Besides the silky under things, the bag contained a cheerleader outfit, pom-poms and a megaphone. Persephone was not amused, but dutifully dressed for Hades. Her tummy began to gru

pouted. Hades wasn't having it though. He sent Persephone back out to get him an order of crinkle-cut fries and a large soda. While waiting, he spat pomegranate seeds at

unaware passerbys. It was his favorite Hellish pastime: pomegranate pelting. Peresephone came back with the soda and crinkle-cut fries. He quickly concealed the pomegranate and dev

oured the crinkle fries with his favorite hot sauce. Persephone noticed his furtive glances at the old vulcan hearth. "What doth thow conceal from me?" She grasped the ruddy fruit

That sang "Hudson 3-2700" in the ultradeep voice from the commercial on the tellie. The Hudson carpet cleaner showed up, ready to work. "You called me?", he asked.

"Yes I did. I wanted to know if you were the Hudson Brother that was married to Goldie Hawn", he said and then gasped as he realized, "which would make you Kate's dad!"

"Yes, but I only consented to her marriage because I thought it would make me heir to the throne," he slurred. It was then that I realized what a miserable man he would always be.