Whatever you do, don't crack up. Just try

Whatever you do, don't crack up. Just try to hold it together until we both calm down enough to

laugh once we leave the Oval Office. < This < was the text Hillary sent Joe Biden as they sat there listening to Mr. President's strategies for upping his approval ratings.

Biden stammered forth in his drunken heroism, "Yo, Hillary, find me a secretary to have a steamy affair with and take the spotlight off that Barack guy... whuu? No takers?" He fell

into a deep stupor, experiencing dreams of taking over the world in the form of Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars. "POWER!!!!," he screamed, "UNLIMITED..... POWER!!!!"

But unfortunately for Emperor Palpatine, George Lucas was directing the film. For this reason the Emperor's call for unlimited power, was severely limited. He had to settle for a l

They would just have to downsize their plans for the Deathstar. "We will crush the rebellion with the Heartburn Lightbulb!" He laughed diabolically. "Yes, M'lord", said Vader, but

had forgot to make payments, and so his Imperial Star Destroyer was repo'd. Due to funding cuts, Storm Troopers were forced to wear white turtlenecks and carry air-rifles. The reb

ate cards that Darth had saved up from upgrading the Emperor's IT system were all used up and the Empire's credit rating plummeted to one star. Darth took off his helmet and said

"They give me one star, I give them the Death Star." Darth, helmetless and harrowed, marched to the front of the ship. passing his new trampoline & pinball machine in the hallway.