There was a time when the blue was bluer,

There was a time when the blue was bluer, I'm sure.

Everything could've been better, no doubt about it. But you don't see that when you're swallowed up by the real world.

I learned there was yet another underground of which the general underground was largely unaware. For a while I thrived upon a certain distinct pleasure in knowing that, until the

ultra-hipsters knocked on my door late at night. "Welcome to the inner circle, have a beer from an elite micro-brewery in Utah. We are so over things before they even happen."

"I'm sorry," I told the hipsters sincerely, "I'm not a huge fan of that stuff. Tastes sort of musty. Like it's been sitting around for a while." The black clad girls glanced at one

another and smiled before their hip leader approached and caressed my neck. "That's ok. Why don't you come with us?" An hour later I was bound and being tortured by a girl with a

a bone impaled through her nostrils. I'd been tricked! None of these people were who they said they were. She pulled the bone from her nose & jabbed me in the eye with it. I spit

e my nose in my face of. No, I face my nose despite it. No. I spite my nose off to cut my face. Dang. I never get these things right. She was so clever and I was a poopy pants.

And so, with the last of my sanity, I sold my soul to Satan to curse her with complete incontinence. NOW who's the poopy pants, bitch.