"Behold," said the time traveller , "a visitor

"Behold," said the time traveller , "a visitor from the past!" as Edwin's furious Grandfather leapt forth. "You crazy bastard!" he screamed, "why do you keep trying to kill me?!"

The time traveller from that forgotten past grinned madly at Edwin's grandfather, who shrank back. "Because you weren't meant to be." The old man blinked once, then reached for his

visine and just sprayed his eyes. The old man said, "Dry eyes. Really irritating." The time traveler from the forgotten past really knew what Edwin's grandfather meant because

time travel blows lots of wind in your eyes if you crack open a DeLorean's window. He swapped stories and eye drops with Edwin's grandpa: "In the past, we had kings and presidents

and all sorts of dumb stuff. Do you believe people would actually halt their transport when a dang red colored light would come on? I mean, folks thought they picked their leaders.

"Hundred monkeys. Pffft." thought Rat Number Five. "Hell no we ain't pressing yer damn levers no more." The Congress of Psychic Punk Rats snickered at the faux-illiteracy. "Who con

went on to cure cancer and solve world hunger via their infinite typing. That we could solve so many problems with an army of typewriter monkeys was truly the most incredible feat

of legerdemain, but credit really should go to the NSA, who used their massive computing power & filtering algorithms to sift out the valuable ideas of the infinite typing monkeys

, such as, "Is that a banana in your pocket, or you just happy to see me?" & "Bananas Foster" & "Banana Splits" & "Bananas in Pajamas"...some of the greatest concepts in history.