54

Let me tell you about dogs. They can lick

  • Let me tell you about dogs. They can lick and eat anything! They are truly free. They can eat poop. I said it, and I don't care. That's so far advanced. Think about how energy effi

    8
  • cient we are!" The cat looked at the dog with disgust. "I cough up hairballs because it comes with the territory of grooming. You eat shit because you are... a dog?"

    5
  • "Uh, YEah", said the dog."I also chase cars just because I'm a dog, constantly touch humans' bare legs with my wet nose, and bolt out the front door every chance I get." The cat

    5
  • was delicious. Now that there was no one around to judge, the dog dragged his anus along the carpet. A parrot flew in and asked, "Bawk, ever feel like a stereotype? Bawk, ever feel

    7
  • like a stereotype? Bawk, ever feel like a..." the parrot remained this way forever. The same seconds ticked by repeatedly. The dog knew he had to save everyone. He went out

    5
  • To fetch the booty left by the body snatchers. Was it fair? No. Could the dog do anything about it? No.

    3
  • Did the bodysnatcher pods look like giant Spooktacular pumpkins? No. Could the dog at least take a sniff of Officer Bigley's sock to find his duplicate? No,

    6
  • and Officer Bigley sure as hell wasn't going to put up with that dog's shenanigans any more! He shoved his pinkie toe in the dog's nostrils, forcing him to smell it. But the dog

    5
  • seemed to enjoy it. Of course then the dog started humping Office Bigley's foot with great fevor, its brown eyes frantic & pleading. Huh. It felt kind of good.

    5
  • "I've finally found my place in the world," said Office Bigley, tapping his foot in time with the dog's rhythm. "I'm a surrogate bitch." Joyful tears welled up. It felt real good.

    5

7 Comments

  1. Gibber Aug 10 2017 @ 21:41

    Office Bigley!

  2. PurpleProf Aug 10 2017 @ 21:52

    Whoopsies!

  3. SlimWhitman Aug 11 2017 @ 03:13

    stayed in dogmode all th way. Yapadeedoodoo!

  4. SlimWhitman Aug 11 2017 @ 03:38

    Likitydeedoodoo?

  5. SlimWhitman Aug 11 2017 @ 04:46

    Fapadeedoodoo?

  6. Woab Aug 11 2017 @ 15:00

    Stepindedoodoo.

  7. m80 Aug 13 2017 @ 12:20

    Hee hee re: de doo doo!

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!