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I followed the hot chick for two blocks and

  • I followed the hot chick for two blocks and finally got up the nerve to ask her out when she entered a biker bar. I hesitated and then entered. Everyone turned to stare

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  • and I realized I was naked - then I woke up in a cold sweat. I had that dream every night for about three months, and it was ruining my life. I knew the biker bar symbolized my

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  • rejection by my coworkers, who were all biker bar bar tenders but why did I have to go into that bar wearing a pink tootoo and have them rip it off every night. This recuring dream

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  • ox continued stick it's frothy muzzle through my window at night. It's miasmatic breath and saliva strings spun around my head like a web until the medieval dreams descended

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  • and I found myself surrounded by beautiful maidens. Each more fair and luscious then the next. "My lord, thou hast arrived! We just finished cooking and are ready to give you our

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  • virginities." Well it was just like they told me. I smiled and opened my arms to the ladies, expecting them to come undress me. What they did instead shocked the hell out of me.

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  • They laughed. That's right, they laughed. Since then, I've never again felt comfortable around the ladies. i go through a great deal of trouble to avoid them. I only go outside whe

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  • n it is grey and overcast and cold. The cold shrinks every guy up to the same size. The women can't laugh if everyone is the same size right? At least that is what I tell myself

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  • at the dwarf-shrinker's committee. But of course, dwarves are as absorbent as paper towels. Why, Jubjub himself had a water-per-pound ratio of 47 mL, which was incredible! He grew

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  • to the size of a small toddler. It still wasn't small enough, we thought. Time to go back to the drawing board. Back in the day shrinking machines were a dime a dozen. Ah, science

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