Upon his conviction for applecide by bow

  • Upon his conviction for applecide by bow and arrow, William Tell was thrown into jail with the rest of the appleciders. His cellmate, known only as "Musselman", notoriously juiced

  • at Jamba's criminal palace on the planet Tatoo. William Tell, looked across the prison yard and saw Welch.

  • ..and made overtures. Prison life on planet Tatoo was better than most. The guards pretty much left them alone. So when Welch signaled the yard by doing a cartwheel, William Tell

  • Performed his underture whilst eating the apple and preparing the arrows. The tattoo man waited patiently in the grey areas between the two

  • trees. I wiped the sweat off my brow, smirking at my opponent who looked pretty nervous. He was practically shaking like a leaf! The buzzer went off. I lifted my arrow and aimed

  • straight at his hairdo. My shot pinned the toupee to the tree. His self-dignity being profound, he hired a nursery to uproot and carry the tree so the piece stayed atop his head

  • he hurriedly tiptoed through the tulips and entered the backseat of the waiting limo hoping to avoid another shot. It was then he realized

  • he was in the wrong car. Instead of his bullet-proof limo, he was in a Tartan Prancer. "Step on it!" he yelled as the bullets went flying. "Welcome to Uber, destination?"

  • "Anywhere but here," he shouted, ducking below the windows, the car started towards the northeast of town, "wait, no, not there," he yelled, "away from the people shooting me!"

  • "We have a bulletproof vehicle you short sighted fool!" he reminded while slamming the pedal to the metal. He plowed them all like bowling pins, taking out the trash like a king.



  1. Chaz Mar 02 2016 @ 07:52

    Tartan Prancer option #34: Bullet-proof Undercoating

  2. Servant Mar 03 2016 @ 22:44

    The circle of life?

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