People flocked from as far as Caledonia County

People flocked from as far as Caledonia County every year to see the returning of the nuns to convent. Excitement would swell as someone would spot the first one, winging her way

through a Frank Sinatra classic or a little Celine Dion. The Caledonia County Nun Croon-Off was a real kick in the head. It was a habit for Nuns to be able to go from Rags to Rich

Poker Face, but in the voice of Christopher Walken. The Mother Superior was stunned by the performance. When Simon Fuller objected, panning the performance as "contrived", she

Said, "How dare you commit blasohemy? Poker Face is a great actor." Then the Mother Superior took Simon Fuller to task for other reviews he wrote which she disagreed with.

Now, I recon some of you paused at the word blasohemy: This deserves clarification. blaso is greek for "shame" and "hemy" is composed of "he" and *my". Therefore blaso-he-me means

"Our shame". And indeed we were ashamed, but not for long. Someone was knocking at the door, an old woman without an umbrella. We, of course, were nude, but now unashamed. She

took one look at our nudeness before dropping her trench coat. The old woman was butt-naked as well! We jumped up and down in nude glee, unashamedly without umbrellas.

We then formed a circle, joined hands and sang, swaying side to side with the beat, "nudeness is natural, nudeness is grand, nudeness will soon spread all over the land." Then a

ll of us marched on a police station to demand a cavity search. Unsatisfied with this humiliation, we ambushed an ob-gyn team so they'd examine us w. our feet in stirrups. FREEDOM!