"ZOMBIE PONIES" was the rallying cry at Slickmo

"ZOMBIE PONIES" was the rallying cry at Slickmo Toys Unlimited. They had already lined up the syndicated cartoon show, kid's cereal and temporary tatoos. Their next step,

"ZOMBIE PONIES: RAINBOWGEDDON: THE MOVIE: 3D" had just been given the go-ahead. They just needed a edgy, up-and-coming, family-friendly director to helm the project. They found

a human brain in a trash bag behind Jack in The Box that could surely do the job. If Uwe Boll was allowed to direct movies, surely this abomination should be given a chance.

I grab the brain by the, uhh, brain and take it back home. I fine tune the machine a bit before hook the brain up to it. After spending a good twenty minute on it I decided it was

a crap invention, so I decided to eat the brain. But you can't eat brains without glazing them in honey, everyone knows that. And I was determined to find the rarest of all honeys.

The honey I sought could only be found underwater, in pockets of air. Rare amphibious water-bees stocked their hidden colony with this most delectable substance, and I had to have

some. Just as I got to the underwater honey made by the amphibious bees, I was attacked from behind by an amphibious grizzly bear. On swipe and my regulator and bottom jaw just

I found myself swarmed as the flamethrower sputtered and died. My only hope was to swim deeper and lure the sea bees towards the reef and the lair of the

surly water logged Cinnamon Bear. The last time he had came ashore the Sea Bees had kicked his ass but it took three squads; only one squad was chasing me; no problem Bear 1 Bees 0