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At Solferino the air was full of the cries

  • At Solferino the air was full of the cries of the wounded and dying. Bonaparte wrote: Josephine, ma biche, I'll be back in 3 days. Don't wash. Je t'embrasse partout, Napoleon (Emp)

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  • At the Duchess of Rochester's Ball guests were interrupted by the news that Napoleon's Army were advancing towards Brussels. Officers sad goodbyes to their wives before rushing

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  • off to the brothels for a last hurrah before battle. Tragically for Britain, these brothels were arguably the best in Europe and the army was delayed for weeks, allowing Napoleon's

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  • neapolitan ice cream sandwich to melt was a classic mistake. Napoleon was furious. Not only was his army delayed two weeks but now his snacky-poo was ruined. Heads would roll!

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  • And roll they did. The surviving cooks in Napoleons personal mess tent knew they had to come up with a dish worthy of the generals Grande vision. An eclair shaped like his hat?

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  • Or maybe a cake the size of Napoleon himself? That shouldn't be too hard to make. One, two layers at most. The cooks scurry about, gathering the ingredients to prepare the masterpi

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  • -ece, however they were somehow fresh out of Obama's tears. "Guess we'll have to fix that," I decided, getting onto the first flight to England.

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  • The airport was fogged in and the flight was detoured to Gothamshire. This town was not on the map I carried. It was 1000 plus years old and I drank from the well. A gnome was

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  • watching me closely and coughed a remark about the fog. "Harmless.", I told the gnome, but I obviously disagreed. The little town of Gothamshire hadn't much to offer and now that

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  • I have this pesky gnome to take care of, it's been impossible to go nearly anywhere. This town is very discriminative against gnomes. You can't take them anywhere!

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