2013 seemed like an unlikely year for everyone's

2013 seemed like an unlikely year for everyone's brains to explode into some kind of vast and gleaming and comprehensive and kindly apprehension of their fellow residents, but

that's what the 2013 Farmer's Almanac predicted, so it probably would. Old Man Nipper spat out a wad and sagely added, "But brains won't explode if the wooly worms show up before

style with a little compilation entitled, "Freedom Rock." Old Man Gunney asked Old Man Nipper this simple question, "Is that Freedom Rock Man?" And the new cosmos aligned with the

stars, but nothing really happened except I crashed my car. I called up my insurance, in hopes they'd offer deliverance, but then they turned me down, and I felt was I was drowned.

I decided to wish upon a star. "Shooting Star," I gazed at my favorite star in the sky, "Please let my insurance offer me deliverance." The star started bursting bright colors,then

tumbled from the sky & crashed into my house. 3 weeks later I got a letter: "…policy fully covers all asteroid impact damage as opposed to fire/water…" Shooting Star, you saved me!

I took pictures of my ruined abode & the large smoldering skyfall in my living room & was just filling out the insurance forms for meteor impact when a hatch opened in the bolide

and out of it came a space centipede.Good!I think to myself as I add infestation to the insurance form.The bug than bids me "Good night!" and I freeze.From the meteor shell I see a

bright light and hear voices. Luckily they were not in time to stop me from clicking "send" and ensuring the futures of my loved ones. Life Insurance - the best space bug defence.