"Hey man, wanna call a truce?" he asked me.

"Hey man, wanna call a truce?" he asked me. We were back-to, pistols in hand. "Sure thing," I said. But I still planned to take my three steps and blast him. When I turned around

I smiled and said "So long fool." I pulled the trigger and laughed. Nothing happened. I squeezed again. Nothing. He said "I always knew you was a no good yellow cheat and now the w

alrus is the eggman." (he never made any sense) He raised his carbine. "Ok, wait!" I shouted. "I wasn't trying to gun you down, I was...trying to shoot the Indians behind you." He

didn't fall for it and yelled "Coo coo ka joo" before pulling the trigger, but Selmolina Pilchard jumped off the Eiffel tower and took the hit for me. The walrus began reloading,

I threw my basket of haddock at it's head. The walrus caught at a fish and I disarmed him with a punch. I gathered the fatally wounded Selmolina Pilchard into my arms. "Oh my love!

I..uh...eewwww..." Selmolina's innards had flowed onto my rug. "Dammit, I just had this thing cleaned!" I dropped my dead fiancee and began to kick the walrus in the throat.

Suddenly I realized the creature was a Sea Elephant and not a walrus. With horror, I realized my fiancee had need not died. My tears fell freely washing her blood from my face.

Rocking, keening, I folded myself into a fetal position & mourned. My fiance, gone forever. Hours later, I opened my eyes & peered into the compassionate face of the Sea Elephant.

I may now be screaming & writhing in agony, but I just want it to be known that I am in no way appreciative of this kind of treatment & rather standoffish about this sordid affair.