If you want it cleaned right - you gotta

If you want it cleaned right - you gotta roll up your sleeves, dive in and do it yourself. At least that's what my mother always

screams, in the throes of tormented ecstasy. She rolled up her sleeves at the drop of a dime, but getting her to clean something required rather seedy promises and a visit to

Mel's Emporium of Discount Dolls. He hated going there with her, what with the rigid plastic bodies hovering over them stiffly, watching them with their creepy painted eyes.

Space potatoes. The fear of the galaxy. Once those eyes are painted on, forget it. Your brain will sweat and your guts will turn into midget mobsters with a ton of heat. They

will beat you senselessly for the visuals from the prior fold. So, instead, you think of unicorns and daffodils and bleeding ulcers to brighten your mood.

Palm Springs was Sonny, and so was Cher as she arrived at the Desert Inn to conclude her latest farewell tour. A happy diva was a docile diva, thought her Assistant.

But she was wrong...boy she was wrong.Cher was as docile that day as a lioness protecting her cubs from a enraged lion.And it seemed like her poor assistant was her target.

-errand boy. Cher wanted three large packs of Hershey's bars with almonds, with the almonds removed. She also needed a bonsai saguaro cactus that looked like a man and 3 bottles of

that he started drinking to forget. Forget what? He held up the bottle and looked within. "Done, done, and by God, done!", he said to the worm, smiling. The worm winked.