"President only eats half of his meal at

  • "President only eats half of his meal at worlds best sushi bar" blared CNN. George turned down the volume. The story brought it all back up. George's bowel trembled as he hurried

  • To Bill Oreilly's inner sanctum. He clenched his buttcheeks addressing his master. "Dark one" he cried. The president dines on subhuman sushi". Oreilly cackled. "The prophecy!"

  • Obi Sean Hannity floated into the room on a dark cloud of baby screams. Bill O'Relly grimaced and unfolded his vein-choked demon wings. The Dark-verse Hell Gate opened

  • In front of the audience as they recreated the "War of The Worlds" radio play of 1939. They were nominated for Oscars, which made Faux News boast it beat True News at ratings.

  • Faux News had their doctored numbers take True News's doctored number outside into the alley. Both firms sent their Senior Accountants with them. The Joint teams waited on opposite

  • end of the alley. Faux News's Sr. Acct dual-wielded razor-sharp protractors, while True News's wielded stapler nunchaku. "Fight, fight, fight!" both sides chanted in ominous unison

  • until someone realized that both sides were reading off the Faux News teleprompter. The office side had the brains, the mail-room team had the brawn, but neither had righteousness.

  • Then one day a hapless Grub-flash delivery driver makes a stray remark about how 'both sides are shitting in the same hand.' Needless to say. They went out for drinks at O'Malleys.

  • One ordered a Tequila Sunrise, and the other a Jackhammer. And hammered they got. It was a night to remember, and a bill they would never forget. They'd literally be paying for it

  • until they got a discount on their dentures. However, absolutely delicious food! 10 out of 10. Would have again.



  1. KieferSkunk Mar 14 2023 @ 02:51

    Obi Sean Hannity had me rolling. XD

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