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The wedding was hasty. Bridgitte’s mermaids

  • The wedding was hasty. Bridgitte’s mermaids sat glinting in tails on the steps of the church, throwing handfuls of fish food at the newlyweds.

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  • The mermen raised their platinum trumpets and blasted a salute to the happy couple as they hurried from the church and into their Sea Coach. The driver cracked his whip, and the

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  • sturdy sea horses swiftly pulled the marble coach across the foaming waves. As the bride watched her home shores shrink into the red horizon, she held her husband's hand and spoke:

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  • "My home is lost to me because of this ridiculous marriage. I shall make your life a living hell." She yanked him over her shoulder, hurtling him off the marble coach into the sea.

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  • He nearly drowned though he managed to paddle to shore. He was drunk... again... and if it weren't for the sea water soaking through his clothes, one could easily spot the large

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  • breasts that he had grown due to his taking of an anti psychotic medication. He was embarrassed to say that his were nicer than his wifes, that's why he drank so much

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  • . Well, that & the fact that his wife also enjoyed his breasts.He had mixed feelings about that, but at least she was happy. Maybe, he thought, I should get a vagina too. I'm drunk

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  • . What the hell. He got into a taxi & said "take me tooneerst gynnaca gynnaalist gyna-gist-take me where i-ken-git-a-kiity. Fortunately, the taxi driver was used to drunk fairs &

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  • brought him straight to the Glazed County Fair cat show, where a robust trade in human trafficking went on behind the scenes. The driver half carried him over to a gang of oriental

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  • Doctors wearing tinfoil jackets, armed with the rancid records ever - their best porcupine impersonation. It was filmed and released on youtube the next day, with 345,765 views.

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