"Ahem" he said. "The suggestion box was completely

"Ahem" he said. "The suggestion box was completely empty again except for this message: I AM HORNY. All caps. Now, this leads me to believe

that either someone in our office was seriously desperate, or the I AM HORNY message I found in the suggestion box stood for "I am hoping Ora returns Ned's yamulke." Ever since Ora

started taking comedy classes, Ora thinks he's a real Jim Belushi. But, I know funny. I've studied it in the trenches with the Smothers Brothers and Jay Leno. We were in Comedy

Pre-School together, back when humor was still fresh. And Ora, he's the exemplar of today's diminished comedy standards. For instance, I caught his stand-up routine over at the

No Way Café's open mic night. All Ora's "jokes" were "don'tcha hate" followed by something annoying, e.g. getting a flat tire, then an unnecessary pause and "gah, I hate that." I'd

have to get really plastered to survive this evening. I wished I could walk away, but I was out with my boss and I was due for a raise. The comedian's lackluster act only worsened

the drunker I got. My boss was drunk too & started heckling the crappy comedian. This was it, I was gonna get my raise by helping defend my boss against the half wit funny man by

making crass jokes about his fat mother. Just then, my boss' wife sat down at our table. She was so grotesquely overweight that her chair shattered and a chair leg impaled her

bellybutton, futilely trying to hide it from our concerned stares. We shook our heads slowly at the sight: we knew she would never be the same after that night.