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"Jake, I ... I don't know what to say!" her

  • "Jake, I ... I don't know what to say!" her eyes shined as she saw the ring in my hand.

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  • "Say you will join me in ruling over Ampok! Together, the shrew army shall surrender under my might with this Ring of Turnip Control!" Jake flexed his arms, and she watched as

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  • Jake's arms dangled like uncooked egg noodles floating in old dish water. She hated Jake's arms. She averted her stunned gaze so that he could not see the leering disgust

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  • she had for him. Becky would never admit to herself that she had once loved Jake before the accident.

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  • he was a monster before the accident and now he looked like one as well. But the heart wants what the heart wants and so we suffer and deny. If she could just be honest with

    4
  • him and explain why she needed to take her love to town every night, maybe he would understand. So she cooked him his favorite ramen noodles and served them on his favorite plate.

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  • "Ramen noodles!" he exclaimed in delight. "And on my favorite plate!" "Yes dear," she replied. "Enjoy! Gotta go now!" And off she went into the night. 3 hours later, the police

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  • rapped on his door. He jerked awake from the couch, where he'd fallen asleep watching 'Married at First Sight'. He opened the door to find a solemn pair of police officers. "Sir,"

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  • they said, "Your Mom's been found dead." "Oh God," he cried, "She always said that she'd drop dead if I watched 'Married at First Sight'! What have I done?" The police officers

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  • burst out laughing, did an Irish Jig, and threw confetti at my scowling red face. "April FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLS!" they cried. "What the frikin' Hell is wrong with you bastards!"

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3 Comments

  1. Woab Apr 25 2019 @ 15:55

    WTF, you're a riot.

  2. SlimWhitman Apr 27 2019 @ 15:18

    I don't know, maybe WhatTheFox is short enough that (s)he needs no acronym. Said by someone who spoke in strange riddles.

  3. WhatTheFox Apr 27 2019 @ 22:41

    A name like “WhatTheFox” just begs to be acronymized. (S)he planned it *quite* intentionally. :)

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