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I discovered a loophole in the rules of polite

  • I discovered a loophole in the rules of polite society & started using a laptop bag as a manpurse. Trouble was, I could never find anything in there. One time at Victor's Surprise
  • I was checking out the new fall line of lacy thongs, when I felt someone come up behind me. "Nice bag," the low rough voice said. I whipped around, my manpurse slapping against his
  • manpurse, becoming entwined. I bent down & my long raven hair got entangled with our manpurses. He got out some shears, sliced off my hair at the neck & breathed in its heady perf
  • ectly balanced mix of bleach, head & shoulders & grecian formula aroma. Our eyes met, actually the mascara of our fake lashes got stuck together. I unzipped my neoprene manpurse
  • & slid a hand in slowly. I pulled out a sleek black case. I pried open the lid and whipped out my Nikon. "Mind if I take your picture? You have the most exquisite looking
  • business card. Is that ivory stock?" She smiled, "I have them specially embossed." I took another picture with my cell. "It so rare to find such quality." Now, my collection was
  • really boring. It involved card stock. Embossings. Maybe a little gold leaf to really whip up the zanies. The collection could put a meth head to sleep, that's how boring it was.
  • But then, inspiration. I made a lengthwise crease down the center of an embossed sheet. Paper airplane, bitches. I folded two (2) corners to the center, titillating the clientele
  • until Mr. Anderson whipped out his drone, the DJ1 S1000 Octacopter, complete with an ultra HD video camera. In an instant, I lost them all. My paper airplane went up in flames.
  • Little did Mr. Anderson know, that I had planted a bomb under his chair. I walked away into the sunset as his building went up in a ball of fire.
Started
2013-11-14 01:41:30
Finished
2015-09-12 12:59:33

9 Comments

  1. Avatar

    jpcreepy Sep 12 2015 @ 13:03

    This story was epic. It had explosions, thongs, paper airplanes, and uncomfortable touches.
  2. Avatar

    m80 Sep 19 2015 @ 15:13

    I second that. Moral End's description of the most boring thing ever, and buddyboy's "Paper airplane, bitches" - lol
  3. Avatar

    49erFaithful Sep 20 2015 @ 02:04

    It's the true stories like these that tend to resonate best. Well feld, indeed.
  4. Avatar

    lucielucie Sep 27 2015 @ 06:08

    So what do you keep in your man purse 49er.?
  5. Avatar

    49erFaithful Sep 28 2015 @ 14:37

    Oh it's mostly paper files for work. My shades, some gum, a thumb drive, Advil. I suppose I could get a briefcase but why when I've got a handy man purse?
  6. Avatar

    Shudas Sep 30 2015 @ 15:52

    Very nice story
  7. Avatar

    lucielucie Oct 02 2015 @ 15:34

    Thanks for sharing 49er
  8. Avatar

    49erFaithful Oct 02 2015 @ 16:22

    No problem. Of course I was being a bit toungue in cheek about the true story. The laptop bag/ manpurse is real enough. The rest, well...
  9. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Oct 02 2015 @ 17:41

    Oh sure... "All characters are fictitious. Any similarities to actual events or persons is purely..." http://foldingstory.com/fdwn0/

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